A spinning top can not spin forever.  Where will I come to rest?  My mood can not always but most often be identified by what radio station I am listening to.  The last couple weeks I have definitely been in a 96.1 mood.  Good heavy metal rock can be good sometimes.  I think when I believe I know where my top is spinning off to, then my mood will settle back down to 92.9 or even public broadcasting.

My path in life so far has always been very clear to me.  Making decisions has always been easy.  What house to buy, which girl to marry, what college to go to, what job to take.  Big life decisions have always presented themselves with very clear, correct answers.  I’ve always only had one real choice, and that choice has always turned out to be the right one.  My success so far in life is a testament to that. I don’t remember ever forcing the answer, it just showed up, right in front of me, with no other alternative, so I took it.  And it was right to do so.  The more important the life decision was, the easier it was for me to answer it.  It’s the little things like what to eat for dinner that usually shut me down.

Now I find myself trying to force a decision to my questions in life right now becuase I can’t find an answer.  I am even trying to figure out if I am asking the right question to get the right answer.  Nothing seems to be working.  Am I panicing?  It sure feels like I am. But why?  I never remember panicing before, so why now.  If that is the problem, I sure can’t turn it off.  My anxiety is so wound up because of the panicing that there are times i’m not sure how to turn it off.  Have I strayed onto a path that ended up in a dead end? Am I standing at the end of a path looking for more when it doesn’t exist?  How do I go back in time and get myself onto a different path.  Wow, that could really be a mess.  Who wants to start over again.

Rock On Ozzy Osborne, Rock On